Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize