walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
ttyl tear gas
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
