you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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