Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
