somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
