Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
