He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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