dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
