watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
