I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
