So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She said her name was "party"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
