There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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