I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
