He disabled his match.com account in front of me
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
