i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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