And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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