I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize