help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
