I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
