last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
