i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
