You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
