Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
