She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
