belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
