You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She just used a chaser for red wine.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
