Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
