well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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