I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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