Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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