I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
