i think my tv is drunk
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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