Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
