If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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