please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
