I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
