I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
