At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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