i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
