You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
