Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
