I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
