i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Do vagina's smell?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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