I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
