Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
