Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
