i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
