TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
