Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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