I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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