i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
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The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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