someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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