You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
