Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
