you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
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I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
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My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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