I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
