I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
