Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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