Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
