What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
