eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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