She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
