no, he came in my armpit
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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