We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
