i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
