and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
